The Balance of Trade in Relationships

What happens when you send out ten friendly “vibes” to someone and only get two in return? Or what about the opposite of that – how do you react when you are being inundated by “vibes” that you don’t want to return? I don’t know about you, but both of these scenarios set off my ‘vibe” alarm system.

When it comes to monitoring the quality of our relationships most people have a sense of uncomfortableness when the exchange of “vibes” is not reciprocal. That happens because healthy relationships typically are marked by a give-and-take balance. When things are out of balance, it sets off an internal warning system that is meant to prompt us to do something about it.

Positive relationships require maintaining a healthy balance of trade. A mutually beneficial interchange requires both buying and selling. When someone is selling more than they are buying that is good for them but not for the other person, and vice versa.

You can relate to this principle when you think about how you feel when you have to deal with a high pressure salesman or phone solicitor. Some relationships are just like that. One person is doing all the talking, it’s all about them and they have no interest in what you feel or think. It is a one way, trade deficit relationship. They are treating you as if you have nothing of value to contribute to the conversation.

Here are three valuable tips to help us maintain a balance of trade in our relationships.

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