Growth & Development

5 types of people who leave the church

3 Comments / Growth & Development, News & Reflections, Overcoming /

One of the jobs that pastors do, with some reluctance, is exit interviews. Having pastored in two congregations spanning over 35 years I have done my share. Exit interviews are basically conversations pastors try to make a point of having with people when they decide to leave their church.

The intention first and foremost is to check on their spiritual well-being and hear what God is doing in their lives. It is also a time to express appreciation for them and their contribution to the church. And finally it is appropriate to affirm and bless them as they move on in their relationship with God.

Although there are many reasons people leave a church I have discovered that they can all be grouped into five basic categories. For simplicity’s sake I will term these categories by the types of people they represent.

And so here are five types of people who leave the church.

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Moving on from disappointment

Growth & Development, Overcoming /

“I am a sojourner and foreigner among you; give me property among you for a burying place, that I may bury my dead out of my sight.” Genesis 23:4

One of the biggest hindrances to moving on from past losses, disappointments or failures is their painful image embedded in our subconscious. These recurring remembrances can produce a paralyzing cycle of grief and regret. This cycle, with its accompanying fear and negativity, blocks those who experience it from forging a renewed, hopeful and purposeful future.

In this verse we find Abraham negotiating to purchase a beautifully situated piece of real estate in the hill country near Hebron, which he intends to dedicate as a cemetery for his wife Sarah. It appears this is an important topic because an entire chapter in the Bible is taken up with this singular business dealing.

Ironically this piece of property, named Macpelah, would become the only actual deeded foothold the patriarchs would have in Canaan, the land of promise, until its conquest by Joshua over 500 years later. It became the resting place of not only Sarah, but Abraham himself as well as Isaac and Rebekah and Jacob and Leah. (Genesis 25:9 & 49:31)

Abraham’s conversation reveals something about himself which is very instructional. He tells the Hittites that the reason he wants a burial place is so “I can bury my dead out of my sight.” That is a very intriguing statement and one from which we can learn a valuable lesson.

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Stressed? Where to look for help.

2 Comments / Growth & Development, Overcoming /

“My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.” (Psalm 121:1 NIV)

I have been battling some stress lately, feeling deluged with last minute details for an upcoming event in which I have some major responsibilities. It dawned on me this morning that the stress was having a cumulative effect upon me. I had to acknowledge that I had been trying to carry things in my own strength rather looking with eyes of faith to God who is the burden bearer. Consequently fear and anxiety were robbing me of my peace during the day and my sleep at night. Perhaps you can identify with me.

Basically what I realized was that I had been looking in the wrong places for answers and help. It reminded me of the man in Psalm 121 who had a similar revelation in his journey through a trying time. As I read this psalm it helped me get back into a place of faith as I focused on where real help comes from.

Psalm 121 is the second one in a series of 15 psalms called the Psalms of Ascent or the Pilgrim Psalms. These psalms, from 120 through 134, were written describing the pilgrimage each Israelite was required to make annually to Jerusalem to worship at the great feasts. They were songs the pilgrims sung, journeying from their respective towns and villages, climbing steadily through the Judean hills and valleys, battling adversity both from within and from without, ever looking for a glimpse of Mount Zion where they would eventually enter God’s presence in the temple courts.

These psalms are also descriptive of the spiritual journey that each of us must make in order to grow in our faith relationship with God. Spiritual growth can only begin when we acknowledge the mess our souls are in, our need for change and the necessity of looking to God as the change agent.

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Discovering a sense of Divine Purpose

3 Comments / Growth & Development, Relationship with God /

“All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” (Psalm 139:16 NIV)

It is my belief that God has a unique purpose and calling for everyone whom He creates. Both the Old and New Testament repeatedly refer to the fact that God in a very real sense calls us to be His from our mother’s womb. Psalm 139 written by King David and quoted above is one of the most poignant portions of scripture in describing God’s hand upon our lives even before our birth. It is to this truth that Apostle Paul is referring when he pens a thousand years later “we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” (Ephesians 2:10)

Discovering this sense of divine purpose can have a dramatic and motivating effect upon a person’s life. Jeremiah’s entire life was shaped by the realization that God’s plan for him was set in motion while he was yet in his mother’s womb. “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” (Jeremiah 1:5 NIV) Isaiah had a similar experience being called by God even before his birth to an amazing prophetic ministry. (Isaiah 49:1) And even Paul discloses in one of his epistles that “God set me apart from birth and called me by his grace.” (Galatians 1:15 NIV) That understanding gives us a sense of what propelled him in his life of unceasing travel and writing for the cause of the furtherance of the Gospel.

Have you come to recognize God’s purposeful involvement in your life? Have you begun to realize His unique calling upon you? Do not be too quick to dismiss the likes of Jeremiah and Paul as people with whom you cannot identify. Albeit, few callings are as lofty as theirs, but nonetheless each of us is similar to them in that we are meant to know God’s purpose for our lives.

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The power of being with Jesus

2 Comments / Growth & Development, More on that message..., Stats & Trends /

“When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus.” (Acts 4:13 NIV)

I’ve been giving thought to the results of the poll I took last Sunday as part of my sermon on “Convincing the Unconvinced.” The heart of my message was that faith sharing should be easy because the responsibility for persuading others of the truth of the gospel belongs to God. (John 16:8)

One of the questions I asked using our audience response system was “What keeps you from sharing your faith?” In the list of ten choices the top answers were “not sure what to say” and “don’t know my Bible well enough.” Statistically we were not any different as a congregation than other Christians across the country. Not surprisingly feeling ill equipped is the major reason even mature believers usually give for not sharing their faith. Why is that?

For one reason, there is a tendency to believe that education and training are prerequisites for effectiveness and success in doing anything including faith sharing. But that can end up being an excuse when it comes to personal evangelism. Most classes offered on that topic are usually very poorly attended. That in turn might indicate another underlying reason why more people hesitate to share their faith – apathy.

The account in Acts 3 & 4 of the apostles Peter and John boldly preaching the gospel reveals the secret to evangelism effectiveness.

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