Relationships – Page 5

The Balance of Trade in Relationships

What happens when you send out ten friendly “vibes” to someone and only get two in return? Or what about the opposite of that – how do you react when you are being inundated by “vibes” that you don’t want to return? I don’t know about you, but both of these scenarios set off my ‘vibe” alarm system.

When it comes to monitoring the quality of our relationships most people have a sense of uncomfortableness when the exchange of “vibes” is not reciprocal. That happens because healthy relationships typically are marked by a give-and-take balance. When things are out of balance, it sets off an internal warning system that is meant to prompt us to do something about it.

Positive relationships require maintaining a healthy balance of trade. A mutually beneficial interchange requires both buying and selling. When someone is selling more than they are buying that is good for them but not for the other person, and vice versa.

You can relate to this principle when you think about how you feel when you have to deal with a high pressure salesman or phone solicitor. Some relationships are just like that. One person is doing all the talking, it’s all about them and they have no interest in what you feel or think. It is a one way, trade deficit relationship. They are treating you as if you have nothing of value to contribute to the conversation.

Here are three valuable tips to help us maintain a balance of trade in our relationships.

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The priority of private disclosure

Communication, Relationships / Tom Stuart

We live in a world where the ethical scales that should maintain a proper balance between private disclosure and public exposure have gone awry. Public exposure more often than not is outweighing and countermanding the Biblical priority of private disclosure.
Hardly a day goes by that we do not hear some breaking news about another celebrity indiscretion, marriage infidelity, business corruption and even church leader hypocrisy. You can insert the current names that come to mind here. They are the ones who fuel the ratings of likes of TMZ and provide the material for the late night comedians.
Sin gets way to much public exposure! It’s bad enough in private. And who in their right mind would want their dirty little secrets shouted publicly from the housetops? (Luke 12:3)

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Friendliness is next to Godliness

4 Comments / Communication, Relationships / Tom Stuart

“Wake up and look around, the fields are already ripe for harvest.” John 4:35

Jesus’ way of lovingly engaging with people, disarming their defense mechanisms and speaking insight-fully into their lives never ceases to amaze me. He exemplifies, like no one else, the ability to reach across every barrier and befriend people no matter what their age, gender, social status, ethnicity or religious persuasion. The fact that he was criticized for being a “friend of publicans (tax collectors) and sinners” testifies to that fact. (Matthew 11:19)

What was Jesus’ secret? How did he engage with people and direct the conversation toward spiritual things?

His encounter with the woman at the well in John 4 provides four wonderful insights into how to befriend people for eternal purposes.

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3 monastic commitments we all must make

4 Comments / Church History, Growth & Development, News & Reflections, Relationships / Tom Stuart

Yesterday, Susan and I along with several other members of the family made the trek from the Twin Cities up to Saint John’s Abbey located at Saint John’s University in Collegeville, Minnesota. We went there to attend the first vows monastic profession of my nephew, Michael-Leonard who has become a Benedictine Monk. I was deeply impressed that the commitments my nephew and three other young men made, are commitments every true follower of Jesus must make if we are to follow Christ whole-heartedly.
The abbot’s message centered on an explanation of the three commitments each of the novices were about to make: Obedience, Stability, and Conversion.

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Is salt on your content label?

4 Comments / Growth & Development, Relationships / Tom Stuart

Recently I was sentenced by my doctor to 18 days without any salt in my diet. I discovered it was like working in a salt mine but not being able to have any salt. It was a blessing in disguise however, because it radically opened my eyes to what Jesus was talking about when He called His followers to be the salt of the earth. (Matthew 5:13)

Salt is used primarily for two reasons — to add flavor and as a preservative. Every grocery store and restaurant would have difficulty surviving without it because it makes what they sell tasty –and even more importantly as a preservative it extends the shelf life of their products.

As never before, my diet helped me realize that as sodium extends the life of a perishable, how much more are we, as followers of Jesus, to be the salt of the world to extend the perishable lives of people into imperishable eternity. (1 Corinthians 15:53-54

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