News & Reflections

5 types of people who leave the church

One of the jobs that pastors do, with some reluctance, is exit interviews. Having pastored in two congregations spanning over 35 years I have done my share. Exit interviews are basically conversations pastors try to make a point of having with people when they decide to leave their church.

The intention first and foremost is to check on their spiritual well-being and hear what God is doing in their lives. It is also a time to express appreciation for them and their contribution to the church. And finally it is appropriate to affirm and bless them as they move on in their relationship with God.

Although there are many reasons people leave a church I have discovered that they can all be grouped into five basic categories. For simplicity’s sake I will term these categories by the types of people they represent.

And so here are five types of people who leave the church.

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What if you were caught in the act?

Almost weekly someone is caught in the act of saying or doing something grossly offensive that becomes a topic of public discourse. Typically it polarizes opinion, provokes water cooler conversation, produces great talk radio and provides late night comedians great material with which to send us all to bed. This past week basketball star LaBron James and Congressman Anthony Weiner happen to be two of the poor souls dragged before the brutal court of public opinion. There is a vast difference between the nature of their alleged transgressions but I do not want to waste valuable print here going into the details, you can Google them to find that out.

More importantly I am compelled to focus not upon their transgressors but the way in which our culture reacts to people like them. To be honest I find the rush to judgment and vitriol that so frequently accompanies such public discourse unsettling and here is why. From a New Testament perspective, there is a stark contrast in the way Jesus treated people caught in some transgression.

One of the most riveting and convicting stories in the gospels is the encounter Jesus had with the accusers of the woman caught in the very act of adultery. (John 8:1-11) The religious leaders of the day humiliated the woman by dragging her into a large public gathering in the temple courts and making her stand before the entire group and Jesus. They were already in the process of stoning her with their words; now they were demanding that she be physically stoned. Truth be told, that is not unlike the treatment our culture gives to those today who are caught in the act of some unacceptable behavior.

But Jesus’ response was radically different. And here is my key point for consideration.

All those who are followers of Jesus should respond to transgressors the same way Jesus did.

At first Jesus did not say a word. In fact He bent down and started writing on the ground with His finger. Doodling or prophesying words of knowledge? We do not know what he wrote and therefore that is not important. The point is Jesus spent time waiting on His Father for the right words and right timing to respond.

Silence, in the face of a rush to judgment, is always the better part of wisdom. Holding your tongue and your peace when everyone else is jumping on the band wagon is doing it Jesus’ way.

Under the pressure of persistent questioning Jesus finally stood up and spoke. There is a time when God would have us stand up and speak up as well. But what Jesus said caught everyone off guard. He said to all the accusers “Let the person among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” (vs. 8) And again He bent down and resumed writing on the ground.

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Ode to Charlotte

When first we heard the coming of a princess
With great anticipation we did wait
To behold her beauty and her comeliness
Earnestly hoping she would not be late

Held in suspense her name we longed to hear
While no masterful inquiry revealed
What pleasant sound was sure to us endear
When at her birth no more to be concealed

Her arrival on the thirteenth day of June
With texts and calls sent shortly after five
So one by one each relayed the joyful tune
Charlotte Avery Stuart has arrived.

Proud father and mother for the first time be
Peter and Kiedra surely are aglow
While holding little Charlotte they now do see
The one they want family and friends to know

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Stairways can be costly!

“For he was looking forward to the city with foundations, whose architect and builder is God.” Hebrews 11:10

God is the consummate architect and builder. In this verse we are given insight into the mind of Abraham, the great father of our faith, as he envisions God’s masterful plan for the heavenly Jerusalem. That will be a building project to end all building projects. Imagine the politicking, drawings and building permits required for a project of that magnitude here on earth. The price paid to build earthly things should give us a deeper appreciation for the cost of heavenly things.

One of my goals this year has been to add a stairway on our deck. I have been working on this project for several months now and have not yet dug a footing or driven a nail. Now I am talking about simply building a four foot square landing attached to the existing deck and fifteen steps to the ground. When it comes down to it, it is really not that big of a deal.

Deciding on a design configuration that works well with our plans for the back yard took some time. I enjoyed the thought and planning that went into doing that. Dreaming about and anticipating a home improvement project is always more fun than actually doing the work

What I did not take into account was the extensive approval process required to make such a minor addition to my home.

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3 bits of political and religious advice

“Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man.” (Ecclesiastes 12:13 NIV)

Are you looking for some very practical advice on how to keep from getting embroiled in political and religious controversy? Perhaps you just want to keep a level head and control your blood pressure. Look no further than the book of Ecclesiastes.

Both the political and religious news have an uncanny way of hooking a person’s interest and heating up debate. Depending on the topic, the talk shows hosts, late night comedians, pundits and bloggers know how to stoke those fires and raise their ratings. This week’s firestorm has been about Donald Trump and the “birthers” pressuring for the release of President Obama’s birth certificate.

In recent weeks it was about excerpts from Rob Bell’s controversial book questioning the purpose and reality of hell. The week of May 21st it will be the countdown to Jesus’ Return predicted by Christian radio broadcaster Harold Camping. In the weeks that follow it will be something else. Thankfully the royal wedding is giving us some reprieve from all this today.

Ecclesiastes tells us “What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun.” (1:9) And so what better source of political and religious advice from a man who has done it all, had it all, seen it all and consequently knows it all? It is a retrospective written by an old man who could have been a high governmental leader, if not King Solomon himself, and at the same time may have also been an influential religious leader and teacher.

Here are Ecclesiastes prescriptions for avoiding controversy and lowering blood pressure when it comes to politics and religion.

1. Do not say “why were the old days better than these?” for it is not wise to ask such questions. (7:10)

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