Overcoming a spirit of rejection

October 26th, 2010 · by Tom Stuart · More on that message..., Overcoming, Relationship with God

“He has made us accepted in the Beloved.” (Ephesians 1:6 AKJV)

Why is it that we so readily give credence to the voice of rejection whispering in our ear?  You know that voice.  It says “I don’t belong here.  No one listens to or cares about me.  I have nothing to offer.”  It’s always in the first person “I”, because that is the way the devil deceives us into thinking its coming from us rather than from him, the father of lies. (John 8:44)

Seeds of rejection sown into our lives through experiences of being disregarded, abandoned or betrayed are fueled by the devil’s lies and lead to self-rejection.  We then become our own worst enemy. Henri Nouwen writes “Self-rejection is the greatest enemy of the spiritual life because it contradicts the sacred voice that declares we are loved.”

The heart of the message of the Gospel is the very opposite of rejection.  It is the promise of acceptance by our heavenly Father in the unconditional love of His son Jesus Christ. The best weapon in dealing with the voices of rejection in our lives is the truth of God’s word.  The New Testament declares again and again that we were chosen, predestined, adopted as God’s children and included in Christ based on no merit of our own. (Ephesians 1:11-13) All are free gifts bestowed upon us because of His great love for us.

Why is it then that the spirit of rejection is often so tenacious?  In part it is because rejection seeks to keep us from taking our rightful place in Christ and in His body.  The devil knows that those who take their rightful place will ultimately be most fulfilled and fruitful for the kingdom, and so he resists us with might and main.

A poll taken this past Sunday in both services indicated that only 1 in 8 people at Bridgewood feel as if they have found their “fit”- that place where they and their gifts feel needed, recognized and celebrated.  To the contrary, over half of the people indicated they were really struggling (37%) or had given up (14%) in finding their fit.  I cannot help but think that this response is a clear indication that the spirit of rejection is at work in our midst.

It really should come as no surprise, since Jesus, our precious corner stone in God’s spiritual temple was rejected by men, how much more should we as “living stones” also have to battle rejection. (1 Peter 2:4-6)

I battled that spirit of rejection the first eight years of my Christian life.  It wasn’t until I was thirty three years old as a pastor attending a leadership training school, that the Lord in His grace finally delivered me. I was in a worship service when the Holy Spirit surprised me by sovereignly breaking in upon my consciousness. He took me back, beginning with my childhood up to the time I entered college, and proceeded to walk me through five separate occasions when I had experienced rejection.

The nature of my father’s job required my family to move frequently and the longest we ever lived in any one place was three years. Having to continually change schools, being the new kid on the block and never building any lasting friendship always left me feeling like an outsider. As the Holy Spirit began to reveal all this to me, He took me through some specific steps to set me free.

Here is that basic pattern to follow, for anyone seeking freedom from the spirit of rejection.

1. He showed the specific times in my life when I experienced rejection and how my vulnerability at that time opened the door for a spirit of rejection to get a foothold in my life.  Ask God to show you when the spirit of rejection came into your life.

2.He came alongside me in each instance, walked me through a healing process and set me free from all the adverse after-affects. It is not unlike what God did when He appeared in the fiery furnace with Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. He not only delivered them from being burned – and even took away any smell of smoke. (Daniel 3:27)  Ask God to come alongside you in your rejection and heal you.

3. He led me to forgive each of the people who caused the rejection in the various instances He revealed to me. I made it a point to carefully pray about each of the instances, and verbally declared forgiveness to each of the perpetrators.  Declare your forgiveness to those who have rejected you.

4. And finally, He then led me to stand against that spirit of rejection at work in my life and take authority over it, commanding it to leave in Jesus name.  You must take your spiritual authority in Christ to command the spirit of rejection to leave you.

The spirit of rejection still whispers its lies to me from time to time, but it’s power over me has been broken. Confessing the truth of my acceptance in the love of Christ always sends it packing!

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13 Responses to “Overcoming a spirit of rejection”

  1. Hi,

    The Lord is good!

    I battled the spirit of rejection for 15 yrs of my Christian Life.(I am now 39yrs old). The spirit of rejection has been brought to my attention many times recently. I have investigated it’s characteristics as well. I know it was on me and my Mum. Here I am at 4 am, the Lord woke me 2 hrs ago and led me to this website. I have been going through the steps of becoming free and my eyes have cried so many tears. I feel somewhat ‘lighter’ and a sense of freedom.

    Bless the Lord for His Word, and how He can heal broken hearts.
    “I am the Lord, your healer”. Yes, You are!

  2. Hi -Thank you for sharing your testimony of God’s grace at work in your life during such a difficult time. I am agreeing with you in prayer that the good work He has begun in you will continue, find the fulness of victory and be to the praise of His glory. Lord, bless this dear sister with total healing and a renewed freedom to venture through the new doors of relationship blessing that you have for her. Peace!

  3. jackie kalembe July 10, 2012 at 6:39 am

    Am a 27 year woman i have battled the spirit of rejection for the past 10 years it wasnot easy i have been rejected by men yet i want proper all those who came my way they gave excuses i felt bad and always cried started blaming my self untill when i spoke to my pastor and the only thing he told was to forgive my self and i thank the this website i really learnt alot glory be to God and i have been encouraged by people on this website.

  4. Thank you for writing. God is with you and for you as you seek a new found freedom in Him. I want to join you in prayer believing God that He will set you completely free from every spirit of rejection! May the Lord encourage you that the good work He has begun in you He will bring to completion. Peace in Jesus!!

  5. Wow! Thank you so much for sharing this with us. I am 55 years old and have been battling with rejection from my mother’s womb. I have dealt with this before and it keeps coming up. I am exhausted but am determinged to take a final stand once and for all. I realize, as you said, that the devil keeps whispering in my ear and side tracks me and them I forget that it is the spirit of rejection and find myself there once again. I have gone through the steps you suggested again but will make notes both mental and on paper to remind me daily that I have to always take authority and hold on to that authority in Jesus name. Thank you in advance for your prayers.

  6. Praying with you for God’s complete healing from the spirit of rejection. Thank you for taking time to comment. Blessings – Tom

  7. I’ve been battling with this spirit of rejection and I’m 28 now and have never had a lasting relationship with a man. I dont even have relationships with people that are solid. Right now i feel like being myself and living alone is better than having to face feeling unwanted, unloved and abandoned by people.

  8. Thank you for your heartfelt comment. I am standing with you in prayer that God will give you a deepening realization of His love and acceptance and that you can feel His divine embrace.

  9. I have been struggling with rejection daily. Every job I apply for, I’m turned down. Every thing I do i’m rejected and the same thing is happening to my son and husband. I never knew this was a spiritual thing until my oldest son began to struggling. He gives his best in all he does and still he is rejected just as I am. I am happy to have found this site and learn that this is a spiritual battle. I always knew it wasn’t anything in the physical but never paid much attention to it. Just accepted rejection and that I was a failure in life. I did pray and rebuke the enemy in my prayer life, in my presence, in my conversation and in all that I am a part of. This curse, I believe, has fallen upon my son and he is suffering. He has started to believe that God doesn’t exist. I told him that -that was a trick of the devil. I told him to look for the good in all things and never stop trusting or believing in God. I know God loves us because He directed me to this message to help myself, my husband and my son now. I love God and I will always love God. My life belongs to God and I will praise Him, trust Him and love Him with every fiber of my existence. I rebuke the enemy and his attacks against my son, me and my husband in Jesus name right now.

  10. May God bless and empower your stand against that spirit of rejection attacking your family. It is my privilege to agree with you in prayer and declare the victory of Jesus Christ over every lie of the enemy. To the praise of His glory you have all been accepted in the Beloved. Ephesians 1:6. The evil one may come but he has no power over you. John 14:30 and 1 John 2:14.

  11. Thank you so much for praying with me for my family and myself. This evil doer known as satan is powerful and I find myself rebuking him and his clan daily. Its to a point where i’m rebuking satan more than I’m praising God. I can’t do that. You just don’t know all that my family is going through. My husband had to take a job 36 hours aways from home, we are struggling with our mortgage, bills, and finances. I have a masters degree and hours toward a PhD and make $20,000 annually as a aide in a school district, my oldest son is struggling on every corner. He went off to college hoping to be a walk-on at his college for basketball and didn’t make it. This kid is the best player ever, I just don’t get it. He became so depressed that he ended his first semester in college with a 1.333 GPA. That devasted me and my husband but we know that this was an act of satan to depress him and get this end result. Now he feels worthless but I declare the blood of Jesus on my son, that satan has no authority over him. We have explained to him that this is just a setback caused by a setup by satan and that God loves him and will always make a way for him. I need a job so bad so I can help my husband with bills and other finances. I know our country is in a crisis but God is bigger than the USA and why doesn’t He understand that we need work. The bible says, “If a man don’t work, he don’t eat”. All I want is to work and have enough to help my husband provide and to prayerfully aid in his moving back home. My youngest son and I have been home alone for the last 5 months or more and I hate it. Now both my sons are home and thats better but I desire the presence of my husband. My husband is struggling. He can’t afford to take care of himself in Oregon and us here in Texas. He has been sleeping in his truck(notes are behind on it) so he can take care of us. It’s freezing cold in Oregon and he has nowhere to lay his head, neither did son of man. Lord help us. Why is this happening to us? We are God fearing people. We do whatever we can for anybody. We love our neighbor and do what God teaches us. Why all the rejection and no’s? I just don’t understand and I don’t know what to do. The more we pray, the more we suffer. Lord help us please. I hate satan, I hate satan, I hate satan!!!! We love the Lord so why does He allow this?

  12. I am a 51 y/o woman who has battled the spirit of rejection for a long time now.but I understand that the enemy plays in my mind. I have been hurt by family members, close friends and yes even church members who say they are of christ but they shun me . Sometimes I shut down and go away into a spirit where I do not want to be bothered by anyone anymore. when I go to church the people in the ministry are always talking bout money but not about the love of christ, I want to be free and loving but that is not the case. I am ready to give up! No one cares for me.

  13. Praying that God might impart his power to you to grasp “how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” (Ephesians 3:18-19) May you know your full acceptance in the love of God and experience His sovereign healing grace!

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